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SciNEStist
Recent Reviews (343)
The most by the numbers version of this: STEP 1: a person moves up in the world ,STEP 2: it gets to their head and they abandon their roots. STEP 3: they crash and burn STEP 4: they learn to appreciate the people/things they had before. This version is made way more confusing by...
A silly sequel to the first Pet Sematary, or a confusing prequel to Shawshank Redemption. YOU DECIDE!
A wacky adventure that goes off the rails! Beverly is off on a European tour with her ragtag group of friends with one goal in mind: losing her V-card! She'll navigate nutty local customs, goofy antics of the train staff, an amourous dark figure, and her Hilariously accident pron...
This short film is slightly more educational than the opening scene of Carrie, but not by much.
A loser kid and his rapist father moves to a town that is being terrorized by what looks like a Faith No More cover band. He builds himself a hybrid R.C. car/skateboard that learns to talk with the most cursed puppetry ever seen, and convinces a local prostitute to stop giving it...
Movie Exec board room: exec1: "I know, let's make a horror movie for kids!." exec2: "brilliant! kids are stupid so we don't even need the movie to make sense!" exec1: "to save money, let's just recycle a bunch of haunted house gear" exec2: " and we can cast someone whos creepy lo...
A great example of what people should do when a militia of assholes turn up in their neighbourhood waving guns.
This movie makes living in the woods and murdering annoying campers look pretty appealing., and I can't think of a better retirement plan.
Basically a remake of the original, except everything is done worse. The twist is that instead of a cool rockstar murdered by vicious criminals, its a sad high school goth nerd murdered by a glee club.
At no point in history has anyone used this tape to exercise.
A case study on parental neglect. These parents let their kid build a 30 foot tree fort and a crossbow, they live near a huge cliffside and a notoriously thin-iced pond with no safety. They leave their children completely unsupervised even when hosting a grieving nephew. They are...
An autistic youth navigates the perils of social situations while absolutely everyone around him is actually batshit insane. Sho 'Nuff is one of the greatest characters ever portrayed and should have gotten his own spinoff movie, action figure, breakfast cereal, and saturday morn...
A movie that is doing its absolute best despite knowing exactly how stupid it is. Some of the sexiest women and one of the dumbest villian plots ever filmed.
If you didn't know that the starring kid was the actor from chiristmas story, you would think that this whole movie is some sort of make-a-wish production for a child with some sort of genetic issue. The fact that every medium to long shot of the kid on a motorbike was obviously...
A secret prequel to the Dollman series! secret for a reason though. This movie strings together several music videos with plot about aliens stealing women through the radio. My favorite being "Manic Depresso" by Sykotik Sinfoney
Boomer scam victim revenge fantasy. Oddly enough, if this movie was more realistic and the scammers were east asian, it would have been called racist. I bet the sequel will have Stathom take revenge on a villainous lazy nursing staff mafia. Or perhaps an evil consortium of grandk...
An AI that consumes massive amounts of media, then spits out short form bad impressions of what it processed. Oddly prophetic.
Your run of the mill college comedy, then some zombies show up. Seems like this movie could have inspired "Slither"