SciNEStist

If High Plains drifter and American Graffiti had a baby, this movie would be the weird cousin of that baby.

Someone with more media literacy than me would parse this out as a parable about maturity and obsession. But I just saw a kid who got more and more badass as the movie went.

When I was a little kid, you could put me in front of anything on a tv and I would watch it and enjoy with no discernment. Then I found myself watching this. Congratulations Surf Ninjas, you contributed to the draining of my childhood wonder.

A group of incredibly attractive women tour the Southern US as a baseball team, to predictable rapey results.

This is less a movie, and more just a series of scenes that the creator made for his private hard drive in case his internet cuts out.

Wiseau proves that after 20 years he hasn't learned anything about making movies. A lesser artist would work on his craft, but Tommy knows what his fans like, and that's weird non sequitar scenes with rambling nonsensical semi-improvised dialog.

A horror movie by boomers for boomers. Truly their worst nightmare is a decline to their real estate property values.

Dolly was too good for this world, and way way too good to be second banana in a stallone comedy.

No thank you.

Take Scanners, mix in some Highlander, and cover in Really cool practical effects, you have the recipe for Scanner Cop 2

This movie seems to have been written as a mid-life crisis power fantasy of a bored suburban dad.

Imagine putting a ton of time, effort, passion, and a lot of money into a project that becomes your greatest achievement in life, and 23 years later a couple people duplicate it on a lark over a weekend as a fun goof. Then the reaction to the remake is "Wow, this is what your thi...

This movie abused the trope of an enemy running past the window as soon as a character looks away, it abused the trope of protagonists constantly making terrible nonsensical decisions, I wonder what else was abused in this movie? (google it)

This movie could have been a pilot for an 80s show about a psychic cop that would have ran between Ironside and Knight Rider.

This movie is basically the anti-Lassie

A baseless persecution complex influences rich feckless scammer christians to use untaxed money to produce an indoctrination video convincing children that they are oppressed freedom fighters, and anyone not part of their fanatical book club are the "enemy".

Yes, this garbage movie is a textbook case on how not to film (dutch angles, overly zoomed in closeups, constant quick-cuts) but the worst cinematic offence of is the dangling plotline of "what actually happened to Shelly Miscavige?"

Shaq's acting style is making a bugs bunny face at the camera every time he stops talking

A toothless version of Carrie, but with a horny teen boy as the star. Closer to "Teen Witch" than "Porkys"

This feels like an adaptation of chapter 1 of an older young reader series of books but I'm not interested enough to bother checking.